Right at the end of last year, I was flipping through Facebook and an article popped into my view that made my gut lurch. It was called something like “52 Weeks to organize your life.” I had an overwhelming visceral negative reaction to this title. I recoiled from it like it was a cobra, I promise you.
I’ll tell you.
I am forty-six and I’ll be gosh`darned if I am going to spend one more minute of my life trying to improve myself to meet some artificial, constantly shifting arbitrary standard of what an acceptable woman ought to be!
I have spent years of my life bogged down in to-do lists and goal setting, an never, ever feeling like I have accomplished anything. I have used these lists as a weapon against myself to prove just how short I fall compared to the measuring stick of womanhood. Satan has beat me over the head with uncompleted tasks, messy closets, and Bible verses left unmemorized and left me feeling condemned and ashamed. I am sure many of you have felt it. It is that false identity of “not enough.” It is the ache in the pit of the tummy that tells me that no matter what, I will never ever be or do enough.
Enough for what?
Enough for love?
Enough of that! I quit! It is a lie and I refuse to believe it, and so should you.
How do I know it is a lie? Because Romans 8:1 says to me that “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Therefore, if I feel condemned it is a lie! Even when the condemnation is coming from my own self it is an outright, bald faced lie of the enemy.
I refuse to believe that mess, and so should you.
I am enough. I am more than enough. I am enough of my family, my friends and myself. I am most certainly enough for my God. I mean, he gave me the Spirit right when I was in the middle of being at my worst. He reached down and picked me up right when I had dug down as low as I could possibly go. Does that sound like a Father who would be disappointed in me because I have not spent enough of my time memorizing scripture or organizing closets?
So, this year I am ditching the goal setting and the to-do lists. I am keeping my eyes on dreams and desires, and letting that lead me. I am refusing to feel condemned by a messy house or a missed appointment. The funny thing is that life is moving along just fine. I am loving myself right where I am and it is good. Join me?